North Korea, Best Korea!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
