I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
