so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
