I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
