no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
