My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
