I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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