I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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