I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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