He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
