I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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