Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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