At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
