does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
