My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
people are starting to question the shark bite story
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
