Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
