They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
