are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We need to rekindle our bromance
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
