Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You ate ashes out of my bong
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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