No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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