I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
