i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
