Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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