you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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