YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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