please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
