I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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