I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
