I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
