Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I need moral support for this bender
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
