when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just cropdusted the office
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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