I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
