But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
