Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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