Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Don't make out with my wife yet
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
