Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
