I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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