So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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