no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
MIDGETS
????
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
