I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
