It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
