Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
