getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
