I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
