3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
