i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
