I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
