Apparently you make a good broom.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
