I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
