I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the day after is always just damage control
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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