I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
