I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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